Hide and Seek

Long ago and far away
stood the one who would come
to stand by me this day

Let all that remains
that is not of you would depart
for your trust I gain

In time I am set free from prison
but will come again
to free those who would be risen

Your words are not despised
in my heart, and I learn
as my part is reprised

Destiny is as it always was
derived by revelation
forced with a coup d'etats

Heavens foes are nearly won
in battle not by flesh and blood
but by the Fathers Son

At last the battle is complete
but by the Spirit I know
that for us He will entreat

Ive found that sin is near
but I will depart as well
from death and fear

Sorry Dad

My thoughts of you stir as I sit alone. I could have been more. I should have been less. Was it enough to cause you distress? Wait with me till your will is shone.

Is it enough that I know what Ive done? Should I leave now or stay and wonder? I could try and explain...nevermind. Its too much to bear these choices Ive blundered. It was enough that my freedom you won.

I realize now that my sins are not stronger, my selfishness longer or the choices Ive squandered...than your Grace that was given while I still wandered.

I have a dear friend that told me to turn, to your house where I lived and our love did burn. I know that your here now, with me by your side. The world holds nothing for me... I know 'cause Ive tried.

Sep 14 2oo7


When you asked me to look for someone else and not wait for you, I responded in the only way I knew how. It was to think of myself first and say I would wait. You would never say that if you were not serious. I will wait, but I will wait on the lord who is my strength.

Is it courageous to stay a course when all signs point to aversion? Or is it mad love to ignore the signs? When there are no responses to my statements, should I believe there is nothing to say? When frustration is the only emotion that I elicit in you, then what is the only emotion that can be elicited? Do I have the courage to remain till it's my time to depart, or is departure only a matter of time? Is there freedom in being free or is being bound together a restriction?

Unrequited love is to suffer, without any benefits, whereas shared heartache is shared suffering. When two become one, one has the comfort of two. A soul tie is not easily broken, therefore make sure of the one to whom you are tied.

Our tie was not forged in God's foundry, but instead in the ethos of passionate wandering, with blessings not surely to transpire thereafter. It is better to obey than to sacrifice. The wise foresee danger far off and hide themselves, but the simple go on and are punished. If I remain on the present course, then shipwreck is emanate. Leave me now to do the only right thing possible. Forsake the tie and bind up my wounds, so that I may again return, but only to the forge of His freedom.

Dec o8 2oo7
We thought we could, if we tried harder. We pushed the envelope until the seams burst. There was nothing left to give. Sleep was a forgotten luxury as we strained the limits of human achievement. Emotions ran the gamut toward a swirling vortex of palpable chaos. Our bodies quivered from lack of food, aching from the strain of pressing on. Thought and reason were exchanged for mindless chatter and unwise counsel, as we looked unflinchingly at the insurmountable madness ahead. Fraught with unknown danger, we took the plunge into an unknown future...and fell into a miracle.
I'm sick and Ill pick the scab from the nick on my heart its starting to hurt.

Why care if nowhere protects me from stares its OK I cant feel a thing.

Cant forget my regret in the morning I get in the carpool lane with my memories.

I'm left all alone I cant phone home at 3am to a place that doesn't exist.

My head on fire and my heart has desires I'm no liar I swear on the Bible.

Ill drop it just stop it Ill mop it its my mess I promise Ill clean it up later.

Its alright to be hurting its part of converting I'm averting my eyes from your anger.

I did it I know Ill just go although I wont ever regret our friendship.

In a moment a twinkle Ill look for a sprinkle of hope and forgiveness just maybe.

Dec 18 2008

My version Psalm o6

No punishment I can bear
nor anger Lord, for I fear
take pity on this your weak one.

Anguish fills my soul
How long? You wont hear in Sheol
I will remember none.

I tire of tears I shed
with them I flood my bed
my foes, all should run

You hear my sounds of grief
I'm heard, in my belief
I am not undone.

Now terror grips their hearts
Run, run with fits and starts
fall back or face the Son.


My Version Psalm o5

Hear my prayer and consider my thoughts
attend to my tears my king as you ought
for its you I have sought

Early my voice will you hear my Lord
I look for you early, my prayers I have poured
and they soared

You are not a God that delights in wrong
you wont abide the wicked for long
because they don't belong

Destruction awaits those who tell lies
abhorring deception, our God will not try
to draw nigh

In mercy I come to your house on the hill
in reverence I praise you, with fear I am filled
with goodwill

I'm led down the path in safety, I'm saved
from my enemies with which all are depraved
and are staved

Nothing in their mouths is pure
in their hearts is nothing sure
with their tongues they lure

Declare that they are condemned
may their own plots not amend
the wicked, and away from you send

But all who find safety in you rejoice
may they all be found with a joyful noise
and be protected and filled with joy

You prosper those who obey
and they are protected as they stay
close to you, and do what you say



Acquired at the point of purchase
I am now sealed with love divine

Spirit dwell within this mortal
given hope through peaceful signs

Sacrifice was not required
He asks me not for courage still

The faithful heart of Christ was broken
the Father gives of perfect will

I have not sought Him as I should
Ive turned and went my way

But never leaving nor forsaking
Faithful Sheppard led the stray

Asking nothing in His name
that wouldn't come to me

Delighting now in fleshly law
upon the heart, I'm free

I take the yoke upon my shoulders
its lightness is as air

The wonder of the acts of God
all my sins He bears


In the likeness of you

In my wildest dreams, I could never foresee a love like yours
Forgetting my mistakes and faults, you instead lavish me with kindness

Ive hurt those you love, and yet you still hold me just as tightly as when we first met
Looking at your face to see if your ever frustrated, I only find joy looking back

I'm sorry for the pain Ive caused, Father. I can only hope that I learn my lessons
a little quicker than what I have been. I know that you are aware of my sorrow

Please comfort those Ive damaged, please forgive my trespasses against your children
Teach me to be like you. I shall be satisfied when I awake in your likeness


красивейше поднял

I harbor a feeling welling inside
Alone in my thoughts, heartache implied
Most tender of friends, Victory your name
I wonder if you ever feel the same

Did reckless abandon cause you to leave
Or sin on my part has caused you to grieve?
My wish for you dear one is that you'll be blessed
While resting your head on Jesus' chest

I stumbled and tripped down the street of desire
Forgetting but briefly a hope to conspire
And forging a friendship in hopes of a love
Just know that of you I think the world of

A stronger one surely will take my place
And form a more suitable nesting of grace
In failing Ive given a nod to the past
Know that my heart wants your pain not to last

Hope deferred makes my heart sick
But maybe I hope for a conjuring trick
Was love so in vain that ignoring the signs
ahead that warned me it wasn't His time?

Alas it has taught me to guard the reposes
of tender heart dwellings made of wilderness roses
Forgive the forgiven and all will be right
Always remember this prayer of the contrite


Rinse and Repeat

Pain in returning that which was once mine
Vain pounds the heart engulfed in sour wine
Chains bruise the arms of those who are blind
Gains in pursuit of two hearts aligned
Cains support old age when youth's left behind
Strains of sad songs wash over my mind
Pain is a cycle that repeats over time

One more time...



Is this life that we hold so dear to our hearts, worth the investment we make, when all that we do is look to receive the very moment we wake? Should life be a matter of filling our souls with worldly treasures we take? Or plundering haplessly with no regard to all the souls that we rape? We hope to gain more from the powerless ones by holding their necks by the nape. Twisting their fates by stealing their hopes and draping their coffins with capes.

I am the one who was chosen to speak on behalf of the poor and the lame. Ignoring their plight I fell out of grace when realized I am the same…as the drug cartel or the soldier from hell. I am, just not in name. For I was the one that knew what to do, but instead gave them my back. Stopping my ears and holding my tongue, I told myself its best to hold back. Your little ones suffer on, not knowing all that they lack.

I could have given them truth from your word, and shared with them all I believe. For you said to all of us ( including this one ) it's more blessed to give than receive. For what man can stand before his God while his friends are blindly deceived. Lord have mercy on me for failing to be the voice that speaks of your love. It's your kindness that brings us all safely home, led on the wings of a dove. Forgiveness is mine as I look back in time as I see that never you shoved, or led me astray nor turned me away, for your mercies are new everyday.


Where is my solace in soul's despair, when peace has flown from dark nightmares?
My comfort found through grace invested, my soul receives and is now rested.
Are His ears to heavy to hear my crys, His heart too burdened to sympathize?
His eye upon my every tear, the love of Jesus knows no fear.
When burdens crush with enormous weight, does God forget to participate?
His arms enfold around the load of heavy thoughts and piercing goads.
Does loving God remove the pain of selfish choices made in vain?
When heart condemns, He loves me still. Forgiveness found in His good will.


Lest we forget

At what point does the fake become real
At what point will my heart feel
the stirring of light

At what point will death turn to life
At what point will joy become rife
overcoming the trite

I see no future apart from Him
I see no love when I wallow in sin
He captures the stealer and sentenced him there
to freedom I'm called, in freedom Ill win

The soul is made right by the leaving of pride
no place for the vain, for vanity lied
The shouts of the victor have startled His foes
The grace of a savior to me was applied


Hebrews 6:4

Remember to whom this epistle is written:
The book of Hebrews was written for the Jews who had accepted Jesus as their Messiah. They were in danger of slipping back into the traditions of Judaism because they had not put down roots in the soil of Christianity.
The apostle was addressing Christians. He was endeavoring to keep them from apostasy. The object was not to keep those who were awakened and enlightened from apostasy, but it was to preserve those who were already in the Church of Christ, from going back to Judiasm ( Dead Works ).
Chapter 6:4 and thus they render their salvation impossible, by wilfully and maliciously rejecting the Lord that bought them.
Observation: 6:4 Notice it says it is impossible for those who were ONCE enlightened, not those who continue to be enlightened. Enlightened of what? Of the principals and doctrine of Christ v 1
Interpretation: Men who reject the truth of God, who once believed all the doctrine of God, are termed apostates ( A person who renounces a religion or faith ).
God does not Indian give salvation:
Joh 10:27 My sheep respond to my voice, and I know who they are. They follow me,
Joh 10:28 and I give them eternal life. They will never be lost, and no one will tear them away from me.
Joh 10:29 My Father, who gave them to me, is greater than everyone else, and no one can tear them away from my Father.
Mat 7:21 "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord!' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the person who does what my Father in heaven wants.
Mat 7:22 Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, didn't we prophesy in your name? Didn't we force out demons and do many miracles by the power and authority of your name?'
Mat 7:23 Then I will tell them publicly, 'I've never known you. Get away from me, you evil people.'
It is not the doing of "things", however spiritual they may be, that gains us entrance into heaven. Only the person who does God's will will gain entrance into the kingdom of heaven.
1Jn 5:3 For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments, and His commandments are not burdensome.
Rom 8:14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.
These Apostates spoken of in v4 had the knowledge of who Christ was, tasted the good word of God ( Salvation in Jesus and Him alone), and fell away ( apostacy ). Since having been enlightened, the apostate takes back his alegenance. See 2nd Peter Chapter 2
The doctrine of the Person and the glory of Jesus forms the subject of revelation in the epistle, and was the means of deliverance for the Jews from the whole system which had been such a heavy burden on their hearts; it should prevent their forsaking the state described in Verses 4 and 5.
Observation: 6:6 If a person who was once enlightened, turns and rejects Jesus outright, he is an apostate and cannot be brought back to the faith that they reject. It is impossible to call an apostate a believer, or a follower of Christ an Apostate.
Was not Judas called a disciple?
Joh 6:65 And He said, Because of this I said to you that no one can come to Me unless it was given to him from My Father.
Joh 6:66 From this time many of His disciples went back into the things behind, and walked no more with Him.
Joh 6:67 Then Jesus said to the Twelve, Do you also wish to go away?
Joh 6:68 Then Simon Peter answered Him, Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the Words of eternal life.
Joh 6:69 And we have believed and have known that You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.
Joh 6:70 Jesus answered them, Have I not chosen you, the Twelve? And one of you is a devil?
Joh 6:71 But he spoke of Judas Iscariot, the son of Simon; for it was he who was about to betray Him, being one of the Twelve.
Which disciple am I? God forbid I should be the disciple that went back into the things prior to Christ v 66
Looking at the scope of the whole passage, it appears to us that the Apostle wished to push the disciples on. There is a tendency in the human mind to stop short of the high calling of God for aour lives. As soon as ever we have attained to the first principles of religion, have passed through baptism, and understand the resurrection of the dead, there is a tendency in us to sit still; to say, "I have passed from death unto life; here I may take my stand and rest;" whereas, the Christian life was intended not to be a sitting still, but a race, a perpetual motion. The Apostle, therefore endeavours to urge the disciples forward, and make them run with diligence the heavenly race, looking unto Jesus. He tells them that it is not enough to have on a certain day, passed through a glorious change—to have experienced at a certain time, a wonderful operation of the Spirit; but he teaches them it is absolutely necessary that they should have the Spirit all their lives—that they should, as long as they live, be progressing in the truth of God. In order to make them persevere, if possible, he shows them that if they do not, they must, most certainly be lost; for there is no other salvation but that which God has already bestowed on them, and if that does not keep them, carry them forward, and present them spotless before God, there cannot be any other. For it is impossible, he says, if ye be once enlightened, and then fall away, that ye should ever be renewed again unto repentance.
Final Perseverance
A Sermon (No. 75) Delivered on Sabbath Morning, March 23, 1856, by the REV. C.H. SPURGEON At New Park Street Chapel, Southwark


My Version Psalm o4

Speak to me, My God who's right
you gave relief in all my plight,
In graciousness please hear my prayer.

They watch my honor turn to shame
men love their lies, but sow in vain,
I'm set apart in Godly care.

My Lord hears when crying pleads
on silent bed my angry needs,
no place for sin just silent strains.

Offerings just and perfect trust can by thine
show us good is their cry, lift up your face and on us shine,
more joy have I than anything they can attain.

I lay me down and sleep in peace
for you alone can bring release,
Oh Lord, my Jesus, my safety.


The Suicide's Soliloquy

Here, where the lonely hooting owl
Sends forth his midnight moans,
Fierce wolves shall o’er my carcase growl,
Or buzzards pick my bones.

No fellow-man shall learn my fate,
Or where my ashes lie;
Unless by beasts drawn round their bait,
Or by the ravens’ cry.

Yes! I’ve resolved the deed to do,
And this the place to do it:
This heart I’ll rush a dagger through,
Though I in hell should rue it!

Hell! What is hell to one like me
Who pleasures never know;
By friends consigned to misery,
By hope deserted too?

To ease me of this power to think,
That through my bosom raves,
I’ll headlong leap from hell’s high brink,
And wallow in its waves.

Though devils yell, and burning chains
May waken long regret;
Their frightful screams, and piercing pains,
Will help me to forget.

Yes! I’m prepared, through endless night,
To take that fiery berth!
Think not with tales of hell to fright
Me, who am damn’d on earth!

Sweet steel! come forth from your sheath,
And glist’ning, speak your powers;
Rip up the organs of my breath,
And draw my blood in showers!

I strike! It quivers in that heart
Which drives me to this end;
I draw and kiss the bloody dart,
My last—my only friend!

Attrib. to Abraham Lincoln
The Sangamo Journal
Aug 25, 1838


Adam and Me

When Adam fell, I fell too, and with our fall a residue
permeates my wizened soul, coursing through my veins as cresol.
In diffidence I'm not alone, judgment comes from His great throne.
The scales that Holy Law decree are used to weigh my chastity.
No doleful sound between my lips, no words would form through fears tight grip.
He swans the universe its light, and frames the worlds with awesome might.
Perfection is the agent used, to judge the dissidents accused.
But at the bar of Justice sits, both one who judges and acquits.
When Adam fell from heights unknown, the King of Kings left His throne.
The Lord of Lights was handed down to faithless men who wore no crowns.
Crucified by savage beasts, He is now both judge and priest.
The Lamb of God for sinners slain, this Holy act became mortmain.
At the point of souls nadir, before the Throne of Grace appears,
mercy's hand pierced just for me, the Son of Man from Galilee.
Now praises rise from my delight, to be washed clean and heart aright!
No judgment waits to rear its head, there is no more sinners dread.
I've been made clean with majestic love, and peaceful heralds I hear above.
When I falter and fall from grace, my redeemer I'll embrace.
Adam the first stained my soul, but Adam the second has made me whole.

Jan 2008
sometimes a dream lands on its feet, like a cat that falls from a tree to the street.
sometimes a dream belongs in the attic, where no one would ever think to attack it.
sometimes dreams are best if laid out, the ones that are told to all with a shout.
sometimes dreams can cause you such pain, tear up your soul and leave your heart stained.
sometimes my dreams are a lighthouse at night, when I cant find my bearings, try as I might.
sometimes my dreams are a Hardy Boys mystery, giving me clues to avoid catastrophe.
the one dream Ill cleave to is the touch of His hand, healing my limbs and letting me stand,
and when I have stood to fight the good fight, Ill willingly lay down my life with delight.

Dec 2007


Not Today

Most often, I find myself waking to the noise of an over anxious alarm clock, beginning my day the same way. Rushed feet would carry me to my car, to begin my commute along with the rest of the highway travelers.
But not today.
I open my eyes to the sunlight streaming through my window, cloudless skies and frosted rooftops. I move to the balcony to scan the streets for activity, and find a slumbering city. Children and cars would pass below my window on most mornings.
But not today.
Gravity carries me down the stairs to the kitchen, where with both eyes half open, a scripture comes to mind, "Commit your plans to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established". Normally, my life is planned out with little deviance, departures and arrivals synchronized in familiar patterns.
But not today.
I set aside some time to remember His mercies, the grace I have received and the hope of things to come. I set aside some time to give him my plans, cognizant of a peace that settles where pressure usually dwells. I am reminded again of the need to start my days in His presence, where there is fullness of joy. Albeit a small drop in the ocean of things to be grateful of, I am thankful that His mercies are new every morning.

Nov 23 2007

My Version - Psalm o3

Fiery men indignant rise
increased in number and in size,
flout and taunt my soul with fears
but God my glory saw my tears.
Oh lifter of my head, my shield
you heard me from your holy field.
I lay me down to rest and sleep
my body and my soul you keep.
All around my foes increase
but in fear's wake, a tranquil peace.
My God has struck my enemies
and rising up, delivered me.
Saving is my Saviors way
prosperity on us arrayed.


My Version Psalm o2

Angry men in nations wane
to meditate in violence vain.
Rulers plot to ruin the Lord
against His son and break the cords
that hold the nations in their place
but God shall mock them to their face.
He tells them in plain words that sting
His son's in Zion, He is the king.
The Lord Jevovah has decreed,
You are my son, Ive begotten thee.
Ask of me to you I'll give
the nations and the earth to live
and break them with a mighty blow
and smash them all and bring them low.
Beware you men who are on high
serve Jehovah and draw nigh
in fear and joy with trembling.
Kiss the Son who is the King
Lest you parish in the way,
blessed are those who trust today.

My Version Psalm o1

Happy is man for all his days,
who rejects all earthly, sinful ways.

His desire shall be for the Law of Love,
he thinks on these as God above

plants him near the living streams,
and prospers in his wildest dreams.

The wicked man is driven where
his life is strewn about nowhere.

Not able to stand on this the day
that sin is judged, he starts to sway

before the Judge of all the world
his destiny has become unfurrled.

But God our Father knows our ways
He never leaves us, neither strays

From kindness to His little ones
nor judgement toward the not so sons.

Paraphrase of The First Psalm

THE MAN, in life wherever plac’d,
Hath happiness in store,
Who walks not in the wicked’s way,
Nor learns their guilty lore!
Nor from the seat of scornful pride
Casts forth his eyes abroad,
But with humility and awe
Still walks before his God.
That man shall flourish like the trees,
Which by the streamlets grow;
The fruitful top is spread on high,
And firm the root below.
But he whose blossom buds in guilt
Shall to the ground be cast,
And, like the rootless stubble, tost
Before the sweeping blast. For why? that God the good adore,
Hath giv’n them peace and rest,
But hath decreed that wicked men
Shall ne’er be truly blest.

Robert Burns

Psalm o1

Bless'd is the man who hath not walk'd astray
In counsel of the wicked, and ith'way

Of sinners hath not stood, and in the seat
Of scorners hath not sate. But in the great

Jehovahs Law is ever his delight,
And in his law he studies day and night.

He shall be as a tree which planted grows
By watry streams, and in his season knows

To yield his fruit, and his leaf shall not fall.
And what he takes in hand shall prosper all.

Not so the wicked, but as chaff which fann'd
The wind drives, so the wicked shall not stand

In judgment, or abide their tryal then
Nor sinners in th'assembly of just men.

For the Lord knows th'upright way of the just
And the way of bad men to ruine must.

John Milton


Clarion Call

I had pitched headlong from the path and had fallen into a bog of hopeless guilt. As I waited for my deliverer, a messenger came to my side. She pointed to my Fathers house and asked if I would not return. I said that the only way to my Fathers house was to return to my Father. I could never be found inside His house if we were not reunited.
I remember how and when I had fallen, and the condition in which the fall was predicated. I had believed that my desires and dreams could be fulfilled through my own means, and began to pull back from Him, inch by inch, slowly moving away from the protective covering that was provided. As time flitted by, I reasoned that my happiness would be better served if I had no relationship with Him at all. I sought to disown my Father, and made every effort to do so. There began in me a cessation of hope, as I traveled from my Father and my home, all the while hoping that distance would ease the pangs of my broken union. Traversing the slippery slope that I thought would lead me to peace, I found instead a quagmire of shifting sand with no firm footing, as I sank into my own transgressions, unable to do anything more for myself but lie in pain and hope for a miracle.
At my point of no return, there stood at my Fathers house a trumpeter. As his horn was brought to his lips, silence was broken as he inhaled to transfer air to sound. His melody traveled down the slopes, through the meadows and into the darkened forest where I had first lost site of my home. He played steadily, without faltering as his sound moved toward the shoreline and beyond, notes rising and falling in rhythm with the crests of the waves they passed over.
Never loosing clarity or momentum, beckoning strains crossed the wide sea, growing louder and stronger with each passing moment. Sea gave way to coastline, as the clarion call made its approach. Across windswept grasslands and craggy cliffs, the trumpeter had reached his mark. I heard the call, and I responded with a strength and humility that was not my own. Standing, I was instantly transported across the seemingly insurmountable distance to my Fathers house, where He greeted me with open arms. This is where I belong, and with his Grace, I will remain.


O pilgrim tried, you run the race across the wild frontier. You left the valley of despair and slew the giant of imagined fear.

You ascended slopes of hopeless doubt and ran from temptation's calling. Loss of footing made you slip on condemnation pass, but everlasting arms of love kept your soul from falling.

Through sleepless nights you kept the watch, and waited for the morrow. You choose to not find comfort in the ways that lead to sorrow.

In victory you wield the sword and fight your way through trials that test your faith in Holy God, you learned to conquer idols.

The Holy City waits for you, the streets are paved with gold. The saints who've gone before are there, their epics left untold.

A story true and undefiled you'll bring through heavens gates, in triumph told of His great love and mercy that won't abate.

In song you'll vow to cast the crown down at your saviors feet. You'll find your rest, your spirit blessed made pure by mercy's seat.

So take your place among the heirs of His eternal home. The days of suffering at an end, one word forms on your lips...shalom

Remorse - A Fragment

OF all the numerous ills that hurt our peace,
That press the soul, or wring the mind with anguish
Beyond comparison the worst are those
By our own folly, or our guilt brought on:
In ev’ry other circumstance, the mind
Has this to say, “It was no deed of mine:”
But, when to all the evil of misfortune
This sting is added, “Blame thy foolish self!”
Or worser far, the pangs of keen remorse,
The torturing, gnawing consciousness of guilt—
Of guilt, perhaps, when we’ve involvèd others,
The young, the innocent, who fondly lov’d us;
Nay more, that very love their cause of ruin!
O burning hell! in all thy store of torments
There’s not a keener lash!
Lives there a man so firm, who, while his heart
Feels all the bitter horrors of his crime,
Can reason down its agonizing throbs;
And, after proper purpose of amendment,
Can firmly force his jarring thoughts to peace?
O happy, happy, enviable man!
O glorious magnanimity of soul!

Robert Burns



What am I that you cared for me, made of the earth and given to revelry.
In weakness I stumbled, I fell and I tumbled,
back to the earth I was made of.

You carried my grief and bore my sorrows, judgement spared by perfection borrowed.
Your wounds for my sin, your stripes heal within,
I will rise from the earth that I'm made of.


Merry Little Lamb?

Poor little lamb, you've lost your way by leaving the meadows where your Shepherd stays.
Not happy to graze in the fields of His mercy , you wandered to places that made you quite thirsty.

Eating the dust of the dry arid places, leaving behind His goodness and graces.
Picking up cockleburs attached to your wool, your beautiful fleece is now matted and dull.

Your bleating's devoid of the praise of the chosen, in its place the cold cry of a heart that is frozen.
Afraid of the shadows that move out of sight, no one to comfort you through the long night.

Convincing yourself that its better to dwell in the valley of darkness in the presence of hell.
Poor little lamb, you've lost your place. I see the tears swell and roll down your face.


I stop moving and search the skies
hoping for a friend to come alongside
asking that my pain would not make me try to escape from you when I cannot hide.

You have called me to stand alone
and have received amazing grace
to find the peace I have known
when I search for your merciful face.

There is a joy I have found when all of my choices are spent
when my soul and my spirit are down
for I have received the answers you sent.

Oh king of my heart, and master of all hold me to your side
take your servant, faithless and small for with you my Lord will I abide.

Hammer and Anvil

It comes as a surprise oftentimes, from out of the blue, a circumstance we never expected nor wished for. The smashing of indifference, making our hearts true, the trial that makes us run back to Jesus once more.

A tragedy of trusting in self, not our invisible King, forgetting the Lover of our souls, we turned to worldly ways. Our heavenly Father hits the sword and makes it ring, through frowning providence He smiles behind a cloud of grey.

The Hammer strikes us as we lay upon the anvil, forging again the mind of Christ in us. We are his children and at this we should not marvel, if not for the Hammer and Anvil, we one and all would be callous.